


Where Has The Time Gone

by feverpitchfiasco



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean thoughts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverpitchfiasco/pseuds/feverpitchfiasco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Dean watches Sam sleep</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Has The Time Gone

Sometimes, Dean just watches Sam sleep. Watches the subtle rise and fall of his chest. Listens to the deep, even breathing. All he can see is the passage of time, and wonders where it’s all gone. When he looks at Sam, he sees him at every age. 

Little baby Sammy runs a hand over the scruffy growth on his jaw and asks if he can borrow a razor. Toddler Sammy sits on the bed and cleans the guns while chubby twelve year old Sam (NOT Sammy anymore, Dean. It’s Sam) asks what he thinks of the news reports from Wisconsin. Teenage Sam with his shaggy hair and awkward body sits in the front seat of the Impala, dimples flashing as he grins and sings along to the music. 

He knows he has trouble letting go of his brother. His dad handed him over in the fire, and he’s never given him back. Dean knows that Sam has ingrained himself upon his life. Like a tree, the roots have inched their way deeper and further and stronger as the years passed. Even through the storm of fists and curses when they’d fight, Dean could feel Sam pumping through him. 

Somedays, he feels like he’s more Sam than Dean. He feels like an extension of Sam’s body. An extra pair of eyes, pair of hands, to help him out and guide him. If you asked Dean about his life, he wouldn’t be able to extricate himself from his brother. 

“My brother and I hunt demons.”  
“My brother and I save people.”  
“My brother and I saved the world.”   
“My brother...”

That’s what it all comes down to. Dean knows he’s stunted. He’s immature, and crude, and fucked up in so many ways. Because as Sam took root in his heart, he gave his everything to him. All of his growth and energy and effort has been pushed into Sam. Freely given, freely taken. 

Sam grew up great. He grew into the kind of man that Dean is proud to call his. 

“That’s my boy.” 

He has so much pride and love for that kid. He’s tall, strong, good with the ladies. Because when Dean Winchester raises you, you’re always going to be good with the ladies. 

Sometimes, Dean watches Sam sleep. And he wonders where the time has gone.


End file.
